Jessica's Guide To Dating On The Dark Side.

OMG ANOTHER TEEN VAMPIRE BOOK.
THIS IS TRULY BREAKING LITERARY GROUND.

Like Twilight but less annoying. Well, not significantly less, but at least this book was funny. 

Pretty much the same plot as Twilight. Vampire boy, unsuspecting, critical human girl meet and fall in mutual stupidity that authors call "love." Okay, maybe that's a little cynical, but the love felt a little too forced. They're supposed to be engaged to be married by some Elders who live in Romania. Now that I think about it, this book does seem like a combination of Twilight and The Historian. Weird. 

And the leading man's name was Lucius. So I immediately thought "Malfoy." Which made me think "Harry." It was very distracting.

I can't say any more without ruining the plot, but I can say that Jessica's friend Mindy was definitely my favorite character. She said the funniest shit I've ever read. Seriously. Allow me to show you an example:

Lucius: “Jessica. For god's sake. Allow me to do at least one common courtesy for you. In spite of what 'women's lib' teaches you, chivalry does not imply that women are powerless.On the contrary, chivalry is an admission of women's superiority. An acknowledgment of your power over us. This is the only form of servitude a Vladescu ever practices, and I perform it gladly for you. You, in turn, are obligated to accept graciously.”

Mindy: “I have no idea what that meant, but it was, like, the hottest thing anyone ever said.”

I laughed so hard.

Identical

You know, for twins, they're not that identical...

Raeanne and Kaeleigh are twins and daughters of well-respected members of the community. With a politician for a mother and a judge for a father, one would expect both twins to have a moral compass permanently pointing to "Angelic." No so, with an absent mother and a father married to the bottle, the twins have learned to raise themselves and quickly realize that life isn't normal for them.

Beautifully written, but very graphic, I had troubles reading certain parts of the book and found myself skipping a few parts. It did not take anything away from the story and though it did make me uncomfortable at times, I would still recommend it to anyone looking for a heart-wrenching emotional roller coaster.

Other than that, I'm not sure what else I can say about this book.
It hit a little too close to home for comfort.

Music Obsession.

Just thought I'd share some of the songs I have been listening to over and over again. (:

This song makes me cry:

Tricks.

Watch me sell my body to strangers so that I lose all my self-worth.

Five teenagers, five different lives, five heart-breaking stories. Each of them has gone through his/her own personal hell and through it all, they've learned the basic art of survival. They each earn cash through some form of prostitution. Eden, Whitney, Cody, Ginger, and Seth discover how bad their lives can really become.

I know I'm probably in the minority when I say that I didn't like this book. Yes, it's a good lesson for all those teenagers that think they have it rough, but I found most of the situations to be extremely cliche. Maybe it's just because I have heard all these stories before, told other ways, in other books.

Over-religious family bans their daughter from seeing her "one true love."
Homophobic father kicks out his gay son.
Girl lives in sister's shadow and gets depressed about it, so she decides to run away with her boyfriend.
Mother who isn't much of a mother ends up with a rebellious lesbian daughter.
Boy loses his father and gets addicted to gambling.

It's all common story topics, but crammed into one novel that's supposed to be suitable for Young Adults. When I think "Young Adult" I think teenagers between the ages of 13 to 17. No 13-15 year-old should read this, it's far too graphic. Perhaps if they were extremely mature for their ages, they might be able to handle it, but otherwise I'd advise them to stay far, far away.

Hopkins is one of my favorite authors, don't get me wrong, but this book just didn't do it for me. I found all the characters too difficult to relate to, therefore it seemed so fake to me. Some of the stories branched out in interesting ways and I did enjoy having a few of them over-lap towards the end, but I just expected more.

Confession: I skipped almost every poem that began a character's new perspective because they were so dull to me.
Revelation: Maybe I'm too old for Young Adult books? It feels like the ones I've been reading lately have fallen short of my expectations. Either I'm maturing (God forbid) or my expectations are too dang high.

2 out of 5 stars.

Hopkins, you are disappoint.

Seriously...

This is the shittiest rap I've ever heard in my life but I can't stop listening to it. What the fuck is wrong with me?

The Queen's Fool

Hannah Green just wants to wear pants, Goddammit.

Oh, Ms. Gregory, I have finally fallen in love with one of your characters. Though Katherine of Aragon has a special place in my heart, Hannah Green stole the entire organ and ran for her gender-confused life. 

Henry VII's reign is finally over, he's dead and worm food. His heir? His only son Edward, who dies of an unfortunate sickness. Haha, Henry. Haha. Before his death, two of his trusted allies locate Hannah Green by chance in her father's bookstore. Disguised as a boy, Hannah has a secret talent that allows her to see into the future, among other things. Hannah and her father are immigrants from Spain, fleeing from the Inquisition to protect their Jewish heritage. Robert Dudley believes that Hannah has holy visions and informs Edward of her talents. She becomes a fool, A HOLY FOOL, to amuse the king. Next in line for the throne is the daughter of Henry and Katherine (yay!), Mary. Mary inherits Hannah as a fool and they form a bond between them. 

But this bond is threatened by Mary's half sister, Elizabeth. Hannah finds herself caught between the two in a vicious catfight for the throne. Throw in some forbidden love for Robert Dudely, a betrothed that's constantly disappointed, and a woman who just wants to wear pants, dammit. What does that get you? An awesome book.

Hannah Green has some balls. Though I can't reveal all the twists and turns that take place, she does make me insanely happy. Why? Because she stands up to the men. Sure, it takes her a while to grow into her own. But when she does, she's amazing. She's strong, independent, and stubborn.

I left some lack-luster reviews for the previous books. My frustration with the time period was too great. I hated the lack of intelligence in the former queens. They lacked real personality, and ended up being the same vain, selfish person in a different body. While Hannah is not perfect in every way, she challenges male authority and even challenges the queen on a few occasions. 

I'm hopin' and prayin' that the last two books give me something to rave about.

When She Was Good.

Sure I'm 18. I'm just really short and haven't hit puberty yet.

 Em is small for her age. Probably because she keeps lying about it. Though she is too young to work, Em is forced to grow up early after running away with her sister, Pamela. Years of abuse at Pamela's hands follow, from beatings to verbal insults. After Pamela dies, she finds herself completely alone for the first time and unable to cope with life's basic tasks. Jobless, friendless, and almost homeless, Em desperately searches for a job to support herself.

See Em sleep, see Em think, see Em get harassed, see Em become hopelessly depressing.

^ There's the storyline.

The story itself could have been more solid if there was an explanation for Pamela's crudeness, but there wasn't. There seemed to be no character development in her at all. In fact, there wasn't any character development for anyone and instead all of the development went into Em (with the exception of Louise in the last 3 pages of the book). Which is understandable, most people want to fully display their main character's growth and maturity throughout the novel, but these authors also include others.
I feel bad, but I didn't enjoy the story at all. I found it painfully depressing and boring. I'd really hoped for more.

1 depressing star out of 5.